I am writing this from my bed...
Sometimes I forget that I have a chronic illness. It may
sound strange but there are many days that I feel completely well and I don’t
think about the fact I have menieres disease – (see my previous blog http://mrsplipstick.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/fake-it-till-you-make-it.html for more details).
To be fair my “well” isn’t the same as others. It still
involves loud tinnitus and a large degree of unsteadiness but I’ve learnt to
manage it. There are times when it does hit me. For example Mr P and I went to
see Scrooged in London last Friday with our family and it took me a long time
to adjust to our seats once it was dark as I struggle to balance myself in the
dark. Basically it felt like being on a ship in rocky seas, so as well as
feeling dizzy I also felt sick and sweaty. However, once my eyes had adjusted
to where I was I felt fine.
So in the day to day my condition is very manageable. But
then there are days like the last couple where I have my “Dizzy Days”.
I haven’t had any in a while so I think I’d relaxed a bit
but the last two days have been awful. A Dizzy Day can strike anytime, anywhere
and it is a complete pain. The main effect of a Dizzy Day is, obviously,
dizziness and unsteadiness. I struggle to balance myself and my head feels
extremely heavy. If I am moving then the floor seems to move beneath my feet. If
I sit or lie still then things dance around in my vision and I struggle to
place them. In short it feels like my entire home is conspiring against me. My
hearing is also affected and I periodically go completely deaf in one or both
ears. I have yet to learn to use this to my advantage but I’m working on it!
When I have a Dizzy Day my head is completely fuzzy. I
forget words mid sentence, I struggle to concentrate, I start doing something
then get completely distracted and forget I was doing anything at all. I can’t
think sequentially or have space in my head for more than one thought at a
time. For example I might think – “I am hungry”. I’ll go to make myself a sandwich
and pull out the butter, bread, chicken and salad and put a sandwich together
with no problems but it won’t be until after I’ve completely finished my food
that it’ll even occur to me to tidy up anything I’ve got out of the cupboards.
Basically I’m like living with a lumbering, clumsy caveman
who’s incapable of speaking in long sentences and leaves chaos wherever she
goes.
Dizzy Days leave me tired, grumpy and covered in bruises
from where I’ve spent the day colliding with every piece of furniture in the
house. But there’s not a lot I can do about them except be grateful that my
husband is good enough to peel me off whatever door frame I’m hanging on and
put me to bed and that my little dog is always around for cuddles when I feel
low. As Dizzy Days are nothing compare to full on vertigo attacks I really
shouldn’t complain.
Vertigo attacks are something completely different, and
completely incapacitating. They can strike any time and leave me flat on my
back. I can’t move at all, not even my head, for fear of being sick from the
extreme dizziness. All I can do to get through it is go to sleep but there are
times this doesn’t work as I have had vertigo attacks lasting up to 24 hours.
The main problem with vertigo attacks is you don’t just get one; they generally
come in clusters lasting anything from 2 to 6 weeks. Fingers crossed this hasn’t
happened to me for over a year and a half and I pray that will continue. Last
time I had vertigo attacks I had permanent Dizzy Days for about 4 months afterwards.
The recovery period was huge and left me exhausted which also affected my
mental state. In short, vertigo – not fun.
So all I can do for the moment is rest and hope this latest
little dizzy spell passes quickly. I’m lucky to have my Mr P, he doesn’t mind
when I suddenly have to start sleeping 10 hours a day or need a little extra
help with things.
Life could be a lot worse.
Mrs P
X x x x x x x x x x
P.S. Mr P, if you’re reading. You’ll notice I’m very nice
about you in these blogs. Very very nice. Anyway I just wanted to point that
out and remind you that it’s less than a month till valentine’s day. No
pressure, just a helpful little reminder...
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