I will never ever grow up!!

Are we normal?

This was a thought that went through my head this morning. It was right about the time Mr P and I were dancing across the kitchen in our PJ’s and socks to Sh’Boom. “Do other couples do stuff like this?” I wondered to myself.

I always thought that when you reached a certain age you magically transform into an adult. A respectable sensible grown up that eats nutritionally, never forgets birthdays, knows how to garden and writes appointments on their calendar – and checks it!

Naively I’d thought that maybe getting married was an automatic ticket into this magical grown up club. I’ve never been more wrong....

So I’ve decided Mr P and I fail at Grown Uppery.

Here are some reasons:

#1 Grown Ups don’t use words like Grown Uppery.

#2 Grown Ups don’t frequently refer to each other as kn*bheads, stinky or other related insults.

#3 Grown Ups don’t spend all their money on new toys, pretty dresses or lipstick and end up eating    

     smash and baked beans for dinner because that’s all they can afford.

 

#4 Grown Ups don’t find farts funny - I’m looking at you Mr P!

#5 Grown Ups save for houses, not sousaphones – You again Mr P!

#6 Grown Ups aren’t frequently outsmarted by a 9kg whippet.

#7 Grown Ups play sensible games. Not drinking jenga.

#8 Grown Ups don’t get engaged wearing Minnie Mouse ears and purple sunglasses.

What? You thought I was joking?

#9 Grown Ups don't hire bouncy castles for their engagement parties.

It... was... awesome

#10 Grown Ups defnitely don't wear converse at their own wedding.

#11 Or eat ice-cream at the church...

One of us is happy to be married... One of us is eating ice-cream

#12 Grown Ups divide chores sensibly. They don’t play rock, paper, scissors, lizard, spock every time the dog needs putting out.

#13 Grown Ups have civilised debates about important matters. They don’t sulk, strop, slam doors,   

        threaten to throw cd’s out of moving cars (you again Mr P) or sit down and refuse to be moved  

        (OK that one’s my bad...) when they disagree.

#14 Grown Ups don't have to add a number 14 to the list cos they're worried it might be unlucky to 

        leave it at the previous number...

So I think it’s pretty clear that Mr P and I get a big fat F at being Grown Ups. However I wouldn’t say that we’re young either. I’m pretty sure that young people don’t listen to radio two, learn to knit or own more than one pair of slippers. If in fact they own slippers at all... I’m a little out of touch.

Also their idea of a good night probably isn’t making fondue.

So what on Earth are we? Not normal... not grown up.... but definitely not young either....

Maybe we’re just us. The red lipstick girl and the boy with the quiff.

That’s more fun anyway.

Mrs P

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